Monday 28 January 2008

Interview - The Twang

As a new website, we were always promised band interviews, only to turn up and discover it wasn't the whole lot, it was the drummer / stand-in guitarist / bassist's cousin. This wasn't always bad though - I managed to get two of The Twang - the least scary ones - the week they'd achieved the NME front page and they seemed like normal lads, whereas most of the media had been making the whole band out to be pisshead yobs who you'd cross the road to avoid. I was particularly pleased with Matty's comment at the end that he'd enjoyed the whole ordeal. Shame it was ruined by my crap editing, but nowadays I have learnt you don't actually have to include everything which is said...



Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on Native.tv http://www.native.tv/ in April 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd


JON WATKIN AND MATTY CLINTON - THE TWANG

THE TWANG Phil Etheridge, Martin Saunders, Stu Hartland, Jon Watkin, Matt Clinton

I’m slightly deafened. The building three doors along has its security alarm blasting out and I think it can be heard across the Channel. I’m sat at a modest wooden table at Southampton's Joiners Arms with Jon Watkin and Matt Clinton of The Twang, who both shake my hand with a polite “Hello Suzy” before pulling up a chair each and setting down their pints.

Phil Etheridge, Twang vocalist, once told the BBC: “There's not that many lad bands around so I can see that the media are going to want to blow that up.” He wasn’t wrong. Currently The Twang are being made out to be something like samurai sword brandishing, alcohol-addicted hooligans, banned from playing most of their hometown of Birmingham, who speak only in swear words and might possibly help themselves to your car if they feel like it. Oh, and they like the Happy Mondays and they wear hoodies. The bastards.

In fact Matt and Jon look remarkably human. As far as rock stars go, they seem pretty normal, and just a wee bit tired. They’re dressed casually in zip up tops and jeans. Drummer Matt’s leaning on the wall to prevent himself falling face-first into a sleep on the table.

Time to start with an easy question. What's on your dream rider?

“It’s usually bread, meat, salad, loads of beer, bottle of brandy, two bottles of wine,” says Jon, easygoing and chatty bassist, indicating the top of the bar which is covered in bowls of said food.

“It’s gone before we’ve even practically gone on stage,” says Matt. Is that you or your support bands nicking it?“We do a rider pretty much every night,” says Jon. “But it doesn’t go far. 20-24 bottles between like seven, but when there’s other people there it’s not much.”

“My dream rider’s a crate of Magners,” says Matt. The tour manager’s already brought him over a bottle which he’s pouring out. Just for you or the whole band? “Just for me,” he says with a chuckle.

“A crate of Magners? What else?” asks Jon.

“Clic.”

“Champagne. He’s getting a taste for champagne, innit. Dream rider… I don’t know. Nothing I can talk about!” they laugh again.

Tell me about ‘Wide Awake’, the big swaggering and shimmering tune which needs to be blasted out loud to get the full effect.

“Wide Awake? I’m fucking practically asleep!” says Matt. It went in at no. 15 in the UK singles chart the other week. How happy are you with that?

“Good,” says Jon.

“It was wicked,” says Matt.

“It’s kind of weird doing some of these things ‘cause it’s all new to us like," says Jon. "Never had a single out before. We saw it in the shops the other day and we were like, we talked about doing that, and the other day it happened. 15… it’s good isn’t it? I had a bet with my mate. He was convinced it was going to go to number one. He bet me fifty quid it would. So he owes me fifty quid.”

“He owes me a tenner as well ‘cause I had a bet with him,” says Matt. I want to meet this man. I think I could get some spare cash off him.

“Yeah it’s good man. For your debut single, it’s pretty decent just to get in the charts. I mean how many bands are out there? Just to get in the charts is an achievement,” says Jon.

Do you think you were helped by the BBC Sound of 2007 poll? You were number two.

“Was we?” asks Matt in surprise. Yes! “I didn’t even know.”

“He doesn’t know anything,” laughs Jon. “He goes home and I meet up with his sister and his brother and they tap me for all the information ‘cause he don’t know anything!” His phone’s ringing and he apologises. You can get it if you want Jon. He says they’ll ring back in a minute. “Yeah it did well, it’s going down well live innit?”

“Yeah, it goes down really well live,” confirms Matt. “Everyone’s heard it.” It’s been on Radio 1 a lot. Jon’s phone’s ringing again, so he leaps up to get it.

Previous jobs. What other ones have you had? Too many to list, by the sound of things.

“I’ve probably had about fifty jobs since I left school. I just get the sack from all of them,” says Matt. What do you keep doing? Or can you not say? He grins and taps the question card on the table. “Yeah, I can say. I just kept going out on the lash and not turning up the next day.” You can do that in this job, that’s all right. “That’s why I’m falling asleep today,” he admits.

“Do what?” says Jon, sitting back down.

“I had a job packing garden forks,” says Matt. “I lasted two days.”

“His mum’s got a lovely garden fork though. What was the question on that one?” We update Jon and ask if he’s had any good ones (jobs, not forks).

“Er… not really. I was a – I was pretending to be a painter and decorator. It’s the only trade you can do and pretend to know what you’re doing and earn half-decent money.” Probably better paid than fork packing. “Fork packing. Sausage packing.”

“I think I was on about £4.50 an hour as well or something for it,” grumbles Matt.

“You did them meals, you liked that job didn’t you. Packing frozen meals.”

“I liked that job. I just used to eat them.”

“Never had to pay for any lunch.”

“Packing meals on wheels. Packing food into boxes,” says Matt. “Apparently I was the quickest though so I’m happy with that.”

“You’re a drummer. He was packing it like that,” laughs Jon, giving a quick demonstration. “Drumming techniques. The last job I had I worked in a shop and it was great. Good lads, we got on well. I went back to see them the other day. It was mad going back to where you worked ‘cause they’re all asking you stuff. You’re living a different life now in a way. And not in a nasty way, but they’re still in there doing that life and I’m completely removed from that now. A lot of things are kind of surreal. You think sometimes ‘is it happening?’ It’s good, man.”

Jon reckons The Twang has been going for about five years now, with him, Matt and lead singer Phil Etheridge there right from the start. They were originally known as Neon Twang but the first word was dropped, allegedly because venues were put off by their riotous reputation. Backing singer Martin Saunders was invited to come along and join in practices.

“He loves his music so it was a natural thing. We said to all of our mates, if you wanna come…We’ve had mates down and they’ve tried to play keyboard and they’ve tried bits. Saunders just stuck at it. It’s hard to stick at it cause it’s hard graft sometimes, you’ve been at work all day and you wanna just chill out, you start watching EastEnders and you can’t, but (there’s something on the recording which sounds suspiciously like a burp, and it wasn’t me) he stuck at it,” explains Jon.

Then Stu Hartland moved into a shared house along with Jon, and luckily for The Twang he turned out to be “a shit-hot guitarist.”

“We got to know him for about six months wasn’t it, went out and had a few drinks with him,” remembers Matt. The shared house became Party Central, the place to be for a good time. “Whenever the pubs closed, just go back there."

“It was wicked, that house was. Dancing on the tables ‘til about 3 in the morning. And yes, he just joined then, Stu. I used to play guitar and Phil used to play bass and sing, then when I started playing bass more and more, like we were doing gigs where I’d play guitar, then for some songs I’d swap and play the bass, then gradually Stu came in…”

“You’re a better bass player aren’t you, than guitarist,” says Matt.

Jon breathes in slowly and deeply. “Yeah.”

“No you are though!”

“It’s easier innit? You only have to hold one string at a time. For a bit we had me and Stu playing the guitar and they’re totally different sounds. Like I’m a very thin sound and not much reverb or delay but Stu’s like massive, the sound. So it didn’t really work did it? There was a clash. So it was just natural really as the songs started coming we’d practise with me on the bass and I just carried on playing bass. I don’t know, it took ages!”

Birmingham. “That’s where we’re from,” says Jon.

“I thought it was,” says Matt. I’m sensing sarcasm. What’s the music scene like up there? There’s a lengthy pause.“Er…”

“Doesn’t seem brilliant does it,” says Matt after a while.

“Obviously we haven’t really been involved in it for a while now. Well not since just before Christmas really. Hopefully it’s going well. When we were a band [Jon realises what he just said, laughs and corrects himself] when we used to play the venues we didn’t get involved in the scene did we? We used to just practice.”

“Plus our lock up, it were just by ourselves in a snooker hall. We weren’t with other bands and that, so we didn’t really meet…” says Matt.

“It was like a lot of lads who we do know in bands, they’re all in like different bands every week, you know what I mean. They split up and it’s like the drummer goes to that band, and they’ve all been in each other’s bands. I’ve never been in any other bands. Matt’s done a few things like but not while you’ve been in the band have you?”

“When I was at college, shit like that,” confirms Matt.“So we’ve never really like, scene’s are like, I dunno. It’s all right.”

Any other good bands you can recommend from round the area?“The Priory,” they say instantly. “From Wolverhampton. I keep telling everyone. Once they get into them, they’ll love them,” says Jon.

“They’re amazing,” says Matt.“I’ve told NME about them, I’m like listen to them, once you’ll get into them you’ll love them. The Scarlet Harlots, they’re good lads.”

“They’re not doing anything else with themselves are they?” asks Matt.

“I don’t think so, no. Who else? Untitled Music Project.” I’ve heard of them, but don’t know their stuff.

“They’re good man, they’re interesting,” says Jon. “Bit wacky, in’t they? They do like songs backwards and 30 second songs. I quite like mad shit like that. It’s more interesting isn’t it, you know when they do stuff it’ll be fucking mad.”

As for festivals, The Twang are doing Leeds and Reading this year. They’re looking forward to it.

“Can’t wait,” says Matt. Do they usually go as punters? “I’ve only ever been to the V Festival a couple of times.”

“I’ve been to Leeds,” says Jon. “I went to Leeds for a day.” He coughs. Who was playing? “Oasis.”

“Happy Mondays?” suggests Matt.

“No, the Mondays weren’t there. Oasis were there, I can’t remember who else. We always go to V, it’s near us. We’re all lazy fuckers and we can’t be arsed to do anything. V was only just down the road and we’d all just jump in the van and drive down. Stafford isn’t it? It was only just outside of Wolverhampton. If it was too far we couldn’t have been arsed to drive.”

Matt’s not really paying attention. Instead he’s looking at the autographed posters high on the wall showing who’s performed at the Joiners before. “Kasabian have played here,” he blurts. He apologises and gets Jon’s attention. “Kasabian have played here,” he repeats with some surprise.

“Supporting as well,” notes Jon. “But yeah we’re looking forward to them, man. You can’t not look forward to playing Leeds and Reading.” I ask if they’ve got a weekend ticket as a band so they can hang around.

“I don’t know to be honest,” says Jon.

“Our tour manager’s saying we’ve got to go as soon as we’ve come offstage,” says Matt.

“Oh yeah,” says Jon, but he doesn’t sound entirely happy.

“We’ll just make our own way home,” says Matt. Hitchhike?

“We’ll probably just have passes or something, I don’t know,” muses Jon.

“Can’t walk off stage and just go home,” says Matt.

“You can’t, can you. You wouldn’t want to, even if you’re not playing, you don’t want to…”

“Unless we’re playing the next day,” Matt points out quite rightly.

“Well we will be playing the next day won’t we? We’ll be playing Reading or Leeds.” For one of them.

“It’s another thing that’s new to us, we’ve never played the festivals so we don’t even know what you’ve got to do and why.” The band aren’t happy that a few things they though were possible turned out to be very much not, such as flying back from a gig in Amsterdam. Instead they have a very long drive ahead.

“It’ll be shit driving back,” says Matt. “In Customs now apparently if you book a van and it’s got so many people on the van, if there aren’t that many people they want to know why. So we’ve all got to do about a 15 hour drive back from Amsterdam at 10 in the morning.” I wish them luck with that. “On Saturday!”

You’re doing Wireless as well aren’t you? “Wireless,” they confirm. “Editors are playing it,” says Jon.

“That Ibiza thing as well, what’s that…” says Matt. “I don’t know, I’ve just heard about it.” That’ll be cool. Bit of sun.

“Oh yeah man. Manumission or something?” I can’t remember who was there last year. It might have been the Automatic and Editors or something like that.

“Yeah I think they did. I know Editors did it. I think Happy Mondays did it as well one year. Probably did Ibiza, I mean…”

Which Twang would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?

“Him. Matty,” says Jon. “He’s disgusting. He smells.”

“I smell good,” complains Matt. Across the table, he looks quite clean and shaven, and I tell Jon I don’t believe it.“You know the saying don’t fart in a lift? He’s never heard it.” Matt starts laughing. “Probably Matty, yeah. The others aren’t here, they can’t defend themselves.”

“I’m just not going to bother because you’re probably right,” says Matt, putting his cider down on the table with a clunk.

“I could think of another thing but I’ll say Matty.”

“Cheers.”

“He does smell,” Jon says quietly.

The recent tour’s gone very well indeed. At the time of the interview, they only had a couple of dates left.“It’s gone quick but when you look back it seems ages ago,” says Jon remembering that day some six weeks ago when they were packing their suitcases to leave home… "First day like. It’s gone well man. I found the middle bit between like Scotland and coming back to England was a bit –“

“Oh I hated that,” says Matt. “I’m sick of packing my case as well.”

“I was talking the other day man about hotels. It is nice having a nice hotel but at the end of the day, it’s still a hotel isn’t it. But you can’t complain,” says Jon. At least you don’t have to sleep in your van. “I know yeah! You can’t complain.”

Matt can. “I just left my phone at the other hotel,” he says miserably.

“And we won that NME Award in the middle of it. We done the NME Awards, which was the maddest day of my life,” says Jon, offering little in the way of comfort to his phoneless mate. Presented by the Long Blondes, wasn’t it?

“Yeah. People have been telling me that he [Dorian] was trying to take the piss out of us when he was presenting,” says Jon.

“Yeah, you can tell,” says Matt. “I watched it back and you can tell.” Apparently they congratulated The Twang on being the best band from Birmingham since Ocean Colour Scene - although that's not necessarily an insult, depending on your taste in music.

“Cause they won it the year before. I think the band who won it the year before presents it. So you’ll be doing that next year,” Jon tells Matt.

“Maybe I’ll be presenting them with an award,” says Matt thoughtfully.

“You never know. But the tour’s gone well man. First tour, I’ve enjoyed it. It’s like you’re learning stuff as well. Roadies and that, man, they’ve all got like mad little tricks and their own little humour. They’ve all got their own little jokes.”

“Fucking mad,” Matt agrees.

“Our guitar tech’s a bit mad. Funny though. And they’re great, man. So yeah, it’s gone well.”
It’s been pretty much sold out all the way through, hasn’t it? “Yeeeeah…” says Matt.

“Every venue. It made me laugh. He doesn’t say it now, but when we started the tour Phil was like "This is a real surprise, man, that you’ve all come, it’s a real surprise that you’re here". I was like "It’s sold out." How is that a surprise! But I know what he meant though, he didn’t expect it to be like it has.”

“I’m looking forward to the next tour though,” says Matt. You’ve already sold out a few.

“The Astoria, man,” says Jon.“That’ll be a mad one.”

“Again they’re like ‘it’s amazing’ and I’m like [not bothered] ‘Have we?’ Not in that sort of way but…” I say it’ll hit them when they walk out on stage, see the size of the audience and think ‘oh, it really has sold out.’ They're not fazed. “We’ve played to them size crowds though, in't we,” says Jon.

“But not for us!” points out Matt. “Not for our crowd.”

“We done the Kaisers gig and that was same kind of…”

“That went well though, the Kaisers gig,” says Matt.

“Yeah. And the next tour will be mad won’t it.”

You’re back in Birmingham sometime then aren’t you? “Yeah, The Sanctuary.”

“Birmingham was a bit weird for me, the gig there. I was told that your homecoming gig, your first one would be strange.”

“Half the crowd were people who you know as well,” adds Matt.

“When we used to play there, no-one gave a shit, you know what I mean? Now we went back there and it was like, cause of the hype…”A lot of people trying to get on your guestlist? “Oh, it was a nightmare weren’t it man!” says Jon.

“I ended up just turning my phone off ‘cause it was doing my head in,” says Matt.“I was telling people I couldn’t sort it all day. ‘Cause everyone really in a way should be on it, and it’s like do you turn your sister down over your best mate? Our tour manager just said put down who you want on it and turn your phone off. Might do that next time.”

“That’s what I did in the end,” says Matt, voice of wisdom. “Have you got any cigarettes Jon?” he asks politely.

“No. But yeah man, it’s gone well.”

The Twang were two days off London Calling in Amsterdam. A bunch of wicked British bands take over the city, entertain the locals, bring along a bunch of excitable fans and generally have fun. They mentioned their road trip, but are they looking forward to the rest of it?

“Looking forward to it man,” nods Jon. “What’s that?” says Matt, not paying attention again. He looks at the card. “Oh!”

“It’s supposed to be a good venue. Everyone who’s been there has said how great the venue is so I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’ve never been to Amsterdam,” says Matt.

“We went last year, man,” says Jon. “I didn’t realise… if I’d have known, I wish…”

“We could have just said a couple of weeks ago.”

“Flying would have made it so much better man.” We’re back to the bus journey.

“40 minutes on a plane and 12 hours on a bus,” Matt reminds me. “Yeah. Just land at the airport, taxi it to the venue… oh, man. The journey there won’t be that bad.” Jon pauses. “I hope!”

You might be able to catch up on some sleep on it. Matt starts to speak – I think he’s suggesting drinking throughout the trip - but Jon interrupts.

“You can’t sleep on there man. There’s no ledges for your arms. They’re like slanted ledges so you put your arm on it – " he demonstrates.

“That’s why we’re looking forward to our next tour as well. We’ve actually got a tour bus so we can sleep on it instead of fucking sitting in a van for hours,” says Matt.

“I’m either going to try and sleep or just drink all the way home just to make it bearable.”

“Probably just drink all the way home, it’s the best way isn’t it,” recommends Matt.

Got any other bands you’re looking forward to seeing there?

“I don’t know who’s there to be honest,” says Jon.

“The Rakes are there, aren’t they,” says Matt. “No, I’m thinking of a different festival.” The only band I know offhand who’s going is the Pigeon Detectives.

“Oh are they there? Yeah man. I wanna see them.”

“The Long Blondes are there, aren’t they?” asks Matt.

“The Pigeon Detectives, I like their last single,” says Jon, then he forgets which one of us is the interviewer. “Do you like them? They're from Sheffield aren't they? [Leeds] Do you know what slot they’ve got? Do you know Harrisons as well?” I’ve heard of Harrisons, don’t know their stuff.

“They’ve supported us on a couple of dates,” says Matt.

“They’re signed, they are,” says Jon. “I think their album’s out soon. Yeah man, I’ll watch the Pigeons if we’re there. It’ll be mad won’t it, Amsterdam.”

“I don’t know anything about it, what time we’re on or anything,” says Matt. Strangely that admission doesn’t surprise me.

“We’ve got a few lads coming over as well,” says Jon. Going to do some sightseeing? “If you could call them sights! We probably will see a few ‘sights’!” he laughs.

“A few brothels. For me anyway.”

“With the red lights in them. No, we won’t. We ain’t got much time there to be honest,” says Jon. “We ain’t got much free time. We’ve got one night. And then in the morning man we’re on the van at ten as I’ve said about fucking four times.”

They’re really hung up on this van thing. “We’re just going to be drinking all the way home,” Matt says again.

The Twang recently did a session at Maida Vale for Zane Lowe’s radio show.

“I didn’t know we was doing it until about five minutes before we had to go up there,” says Matt.

“We were in Maida Vale and they did it as a link like,” says Jon. “He’s been really good to us, man. He’s a sound geezer, proper.”

“Wicked.”

“He’s been sound to us like. I listened to that show on the net the other day ‘cause I missed it and he gave us a right big up, man. I know I keep saying it, I used to keep walking to practice listening to Zane’s programme every night on me headphones. And to have him like even heard of you is mad, do you know what I mean. At first I wasn’t sure whether he liked us, ‘cause sometimes you have to say you like them when you really don’t.”

‘Cause there’s a lot of hype round The Twang at the moment. “Yeah,” says Matt.

“He’s a nice geezer anyway. I’ve only spoken to him a few times but he’s fucking sound. That Maida Vale was mad weren’t it.”

“Amazing,” says Matt.

“You’d never even know it was there,” says Jon. He asks if I’ve ever been. Sadly I haven’t.“It doesn’t look like anything from the outside,” explains Matt. “You go in there, the geezer, the sound engineer recording, he’s done Nirvana and all that. The Doors and people like that in the same room, and I’m thinking ‘fucking hell’.”

“The room they recorded in, they’ve done like the Smiths,” says Jon. “The Smiths were in there. Nirvana were in there. Jimi Hendrix has been in there. Led Zeppelin. The Beatles. And you’re stood in a room like –“

“-that’s where they recorded us.”

“And there’s that much history in one big mad building, it was like really good…” The support band’s cymbals are crashing in the background as they carry on setting up, but the half an hour's over so it's a good place to stop.

“I quite enjoyed that interview,” says Matt, which should probably be added to NME's Twang dictionary, meaning ‘Thank fuck that’s over. Now I can go and get some dinner.’ “I don’t normally say anything.”

Just one last thing – they’re NME cover stars this week, which must be the page 3 of the indie music world, but with slightly fewer tits (er, although that depends on your view of whoever's on there).

“Yeah I know. It’s mad,” they say.

“We all went and bought copies this morning,” says Jon, commenting on his ‘fat face on the front’.

“Shame your head’s behind Phil’s though,” says Matt.

“I’m not bothered,” shrugs Jon.

The gig at the Joiners tonight is sold out. Jon nicely offers to have a few words with their tour manager to try and get me in. They say if I’m along by myself, they’ll have a drink with me in the bar afterwards. That wasn't the behaviour I expected from a couple of 'hooligans'. Sadly, despite their best efforts ‘sold out’ means ‘sold out’, so it’s time for me to go home while they disappear across the road for a curry. I don’t want to ruin The Twang’s tough image and leave them open to a kicking, but they seemed like a normal bunch of guys thoroughly enjoying the rock and roll ride - wherever it may take them.

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The Twang
MySpace

Gig Reviews - Apr 07 - Scott Matthews, SixNationState

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on Native.tv http://www.native.tv in April 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd


SCOTT MATTHEWS / ALBERTA CROSS
@ Portsmouth Pyramids, 3rd April 2007

Gentle, soft, bluesy songwriting - wake up!

Seated gigs never seem to give any kind of atmosphere. The Pyramids Centre was like a Ryanair trip with a scramble for non-allocated seats - but at least there was a vast improvement on the in-flight entertainment. Seats don’t allow people to mingle, spill drinks on each other and giggle. Instead there are gaps as people avoid strangers and a girl sat across the row to my right keeps turning round and staring at me with heavily-ringed kohl eyes. What have I done?!

Alberta Cross take the stage to no round of applause whatsoever. They walk up one at a time, camouflaged in black. No-one seems to realise that this is the support act until they settle down and pick up their instruments. Singer Petter Ericson Stakee has a distinctive thin, reedy voice which almost feels like it is going to break as he picks his wavering way through the songs, gently bouncing along on the spot. They play the haunting ‘I’ve Known For Long’ (believe it was their opening track) which was shortly followed with the melancholy air of ‘Lucy Rider’.

Terry Wolfers crouches over his bass, a look of abject concentration on his face, and John Alexander Ericson is similarly focusing solely on his organ (steady ladies). Their first track is plaintive and a sense of longing washes over the audience.

The Thief & The Heartbreaker’ LP only came out the day before the gig so it’s not like anyone’s had the chance to be acquainted with the music, but other songs they played tonight included ‘Old Man Chicago’ and downbeat bluesy single ‘Hard Breaks’, one of the high points of their set. There was little interaction with the crowd, though Petter did manage a wave at one fan who hooted at them.

My friend returns from the bar at the end (he didn’t want to walk in front of everyone during a song) and announces that the last track was very long, leading me to believe it was the epic (er, well the six-minute-long) ‘Devil’s All You’ve Ever Had’. To me, sat a few rows from the stage, it didn’t feel long because I was caught up in the sweeping gentle chords and tones which Alberta Cross were playing earnestly. Their songs were sweet, peaceful, deep and just a little bit mournful. To be honest, I thought their set could have been a little longer.

Scott Matthews has an amazing husky voice. Think of Gomez’s vocalist, the bespectacled Ben with his true-blues voice – it’s got that strong mature quality which is unexpected, especially for someone who calls the audience “man” in a distinctly West Midlands twang. The singer-songwriter played the first few tracks alone, illuminated from behind by stunning blue lighting while smoothly fingerpicking his guitar and producing some beautiful rich tones before being joined with a violinist, bassist and drummer, one at a time.

Between every song, Fidel Castro would come on stage and hand a different guitar to Matthews, who could only keep apologising for the time this was taking. “Fucking shambles!” The new James Blunt he is not, probably because of the swearing. (Occasionally we’d worry that Mr Castro was going to launch into one of his famous 15 hour speeches, but luckily he kept his stage time to a minimum.) Matthews made quite a few comments and the audience warmed to his sense of humour.

There were a couple of instrumentals, almost soft rock, with the lights flashing and the band concentrating away. Matthews had his head down, focusing on his guitar. The drum kit was casting an artistic shadow across the wall and the audience was nodding and foot tapping along appreciatively. The songs were thoughtful, making me daydream to another place. I expect they’d sound particularly special and personal in a smaller venue with room for a couple of hundred. I think it helped that I taught myself guitar as a teenager, so I was watching Matthews’ fingerpicking intently and concentrating on the soft tones.

Sadly my friend was rapidly losing interest with the atmospheric slow songs, leaning over and making comments like “Why is he playing the drums with a pastry brush?” and “This song is making me wonder what I missed on Neighbours earlier.”

But even he woke up during Matthew’s lively single ‘Passing Stranger’ where the girls sat in front of us tired of throwing rock shapes and decided to dance by the stage with a few friends. The poor singer was put right off by this unusual occurrence, missing lyrics because he was sniggering, and at one point saying: “Let’s start again!” The crowd was laughing along with him, and joined in the applause for the dancers and the people who had chosen to stand.

For a few words to describe the night – mellow, good musicianship, mature, melancholy. My friend didn’t quite believe me when I said I enjoyed it, but I did.

Alberta Cross
Scott Matthews

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SIXNATIONSTATE / THOMAS TANTRUM / THE GLAD RAGS
@ Southampton Joiners, 10th April 2007


Lively and sweaty - plus excellent freebies

I love tacky merchandise. Love it, love it. Sad it may be, but I have a box under my bed from all the bits I’ve collected from gigs and shows before. Queen sixpence, Captain matches, The Producers fan, Pull Tiger Tail cat mask. I always regret never picking up any Paul McCartney incense. Sir Paul, I apologise profusely.

And in a relevant vein, I want to thank SixNationState’s street team for providing tonight’s gig goers with a free medallion. It’s plastic gold with a star and says ‘WINNER’, with the band name all along the shoelace type ribbon. It’s in a class of its own.

With said medallion tied round my wrist like the trendsetter I am, we made our way to the front, enjoying the music pumped through the venue (Larrikin Love, the Rumble Strips et al).
First band on stage were The Glad Rags, whose own outfits didn’t quite match up to the spectacular costumes promised by their name. Damn. They were really enjoyable. Indie rock with smooth and fruity tones (like a milkshake - I’d say they were a bit orangey, if you’re going to be specific) and had a bassist who from certain angles looked like Paul McGann. This was more than enough to keep me happy.

People were yelling for various band members. “Thanks dad,” deadpanned the singer. The guitarist was a bit miffed this joke had already been used and wasn’t sure how to respond when it was his turn.

I pointed out to my friend (with some glee) that we were stood in the soon-to-be moshpit. He feigned trouble with the heat and we took a step back. This meant that for much of Thomas Tantrum, my view was obscured by a couple of tiny teens sitting on the rail by the sound booth, forcing me to spend the set staring at the bassist. This turned out to be interesting as I realised we were at college together many moons ago, although I doubt he’d remember.

Although I wouldn’t say they were as lively as the Glad Rags, they had plenty of fans in the crowd enjoying their music and calling for 'Armchair'. The blonde singer, Miss Mega Tantrumhead (says MySpace - poss. not her real name) occasionally had an ear-splitting howl of a vocal but spoilt the rock image by asking in the sweetest, cutest voice ever if they could make the lights less hot. The order was shouted back along the crew, with each person looking more amused. And the crowd audibly 'ahh'ed at her niceness.

SixNationState were about 15 minutes late. They were onstage on time, but the bass/mic equipment didn’t appear to have the same keenness and had stopped for a break and possibly a KitKat, resulting in lots of dashing about and pressing buttons. Then the band kicked off, and they were loving it. End of the tour to their homecrowd meant it was pretty special for them. Their songs are a mix of indie rock, reggae, punky ska – I’m sure last time I saw them they had brass, but perhaps I was imagining it? Singer Gerry has a belting monster of a voice and it really helps that plenty of their tunes have singalong bits to get everyone into it. The mosh pit became a heaving, sweaty mess and I felt a little sad I wasn’t stood in it. 'Keep Dancing', the stickers on their equipment order everyone.

Single ‘Fire’ went down well. New single ‘Where Are You Now?’ is saved for the end. It’s boisterous, lively and fun. The stage invaders obviously agreed. SixNationState looked like they were having a ball. Then they all went to get pissed in Lennon’s, while I kept hold of my medallion and stepped into the chill air of Southampton. It was a good one.

The Glad Rags
Thomas Tantrum
SixNationState

Gig Reviews - Apr 07 - Amy Macdonald, Fields, The Maccabees

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on Native.tv http://www.native.tv in April 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd


AMY MACDONALD / SAM BEETON
@ Eve Club, London, 25th April 2007

The newest owners of the Eve Club, just off Regent Street, must be suffering seven years of bad luck. They’re revelling in it through, with broken mirrors scattered across the ceiling like solid, upside-down puddles, reflecting the atmospheric lighting.

Coincidentally, seven years is roughly the time it takes the average gig goer to save up for a bottle of beer in said club. £4.50 a bottle! Bad luck indeed. Our horror cannot be sufficiently expressed with just the one exclamation mark.

!!!!!!!!

That’s better. It’s a stunning little venue, beautifully decorated with colour-changing ice patterns around the bar and much foliage; although being underground, the mobile phone signal is shit, forcing my gig buddy to send Sam Beeton’s street team hunting for me (and his ticket).

I arrive towards the end of Sam Beeton’s set. He’s an earnest looking singer-songwriter clutching an acoustic guitar and trying his darndest to wake up the small crowd which is trying to stand as far away from the stage as possible without looking rude. He seemed friendly and pleasant, and there’s a track up for grabs from his website.

Afterwards, Amy MacDonald wanders out from behind the curtain, hair tied to one side, looking like Rose Pipette’s sophisticated twin. Resplendent in silver vest top and armed with a guitar, she has a surprisingly deep and striking voice. Her music has similarities with KT Tunstall and The Kooks in places, along with Scottish folk.

First track ‘This Is The Life’ elicits casual headbopping from the crowd, apart from Twinkletoes at the front who is jigging out of time and unselfconsciously around what appears to be a man bag. He’s approximately 15 feet tall and stood directly in front of Amy. She can’t miss him.
At the end of the track, she invites the audience to stand marginally closer to the stage, shyly saying they don’t smell. Everyone does what she says and shuffles closer.

Forthcoming single ‘Poison Prince’ is next. This one’s already receiving radio play off Virgin and XFM and the like, and it’s a catchy little number. More people push forwards and jog along to this. Other tracks tonight are ‘Youth Of Today’, written when she was 15 “after getting in trouble with a shopkeeper,” ‘LA’, downloadable from her website and future summer single ‘Mr Rock & Roll’, a nice & lively one.

The set is briefly interrupted with technical difficulties forcing a guitar swap and Amy apologises profusely and asks if anyone knows any jokes to stop “the awkward silence.” Her band say they only know dirty ones.

‘The Footballer’s Wife’ is an angry diatribe against non-celebrity celebrities; your reality TV contestants as opposed to your Marilyn Monroes. ‘Barrowlands Ballroom’ is a lively stormer and I could see it going down immensely well in Glasgow, especially at the Barrowlands itself. I half expected a stage invasion during this one, such was the level of Scottishness in the crowd (I briefly wondered if it was a requirement to get in and I had somehow accidentally sneaked past their radar).

It was a short set which finished with Killers-inspired ‘Run’. Amy said tonight was the first time she’d had dancers – Mr Twinkletoes looked rather pleased with himself – and claimed this song would be too hard to groove along to. Oh, but he managed it.

The songs are strummed indie rockers with a poppy tinge and are definitely radio-friendly and personal. Great night and great songs from a singer with charm and humanity. Amy MacDonald is a delicate star in the making. She’s already on her way, having only supported Travis and played to a far larger crowd the previous night. It can’t be too long before she outgrows the likes of the beautiful Eve. Let’s just hope that as she rises, the alcohol prices fall…

Amy MacDonald
Sam Beeton

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FIELDS / HUSH THE MANY / RED CAMPION
@ The Wedgewood Rooms, Southsea, 18th April 2007


Happy and joyful, Fields get the crowd smiling

Despite spending ages looking for parking, we’ve arrived surprisingly early to see Fields play, only 15 minutes after the doors opened. I’m usually early for gigs though – I’m not one of those journos at the back with pen and paper, I’m usually at the front trying to text myself random notes while people jump up and down and knock me about. It’s more fun that way. But there aren’t many people around at all, and there’s already an ominous half circle of folded arms forming several metres from the stage.

First up are local band Red Campion. At once gentle and powering, their music predicted overcast times ahead and was heavy as treacle. My friend was impressed to see the drummer playing with ‘pastry brushes’ and commented that the speed of his playing/whisking surely meant he was an expert at making omelettes.

The band were sadly suffering technical difficulties, resulting in a few delays and guitar swaps, but the band’s banter and cheerful weariness prevented the audience from becoming too distracted. The cello gave a sense of striking drama and authority to the music.

Next on stage were Hush The Many. They took to the stage, heads bowed as if deep in thought. This band also had a cello centre stage, but this one was an amazing shape, carved and spacious. It bore an uncanny resemblance to a skeleton and we felt slightly afraid.

The set started with a repetitive, melodramatic boom from the drums. It had the potential to annoy everyone – then suddenly Hush The Many exploded into a wicked folky, vibrant racket. It was awesome and our jaws dropped. At the end there was a stunned silence then uproarious applause. Main vocalist Nima explained they’d never opened with that one before.

The songs were retro, echoing and plaintive. They had a sense of loneliness and power. Stylish bassist Alexandra had such a delicate whisper of a voice, and Nima was all charm although slightly bewildered at how well they were going down. Violinist Matt was a new addition for the night to replace an absent guitarist, and he fitted in just dandy.

The half-circle of folded arms, which had been edging closer, turned into a group of tall people obscuring my view. Good to see people getting to the front though. Overrunning slightly after more technical difficulties, we wondered if Fields would be allowed to play a full set. No-one seemed to mind them running way past 11pm though, especially when we sang Happy Birthday to Nima halfway through.

Singer/guitarist Nick Peill, singer/keyboardist Thorunn Antonia, guitarist Jamie Putnam and bassist Matty Derham were uplifting and cheerful, with the synthesisers arcing sky-high over proceedings as the band openly fought with demons in their guitars. There was a definite dress code of stripes, apart from one of the guitarists (or was it the bassist?) who appeared to be wearing a low cut woman’s top.

The crowd spent much of the set asking for ‘Song For The Fields’. The band would tease everyone back – “and this track… is not ‘Song For The Fields’,” vocalist Nick Peill would say, while Thorunn laughed and managed the amazing trick of making an accordion look sexy. Songs tonight included 'Schoolbooks' and 'Charming The Flames'.

There is something comforting in the happiness of Fields. The band had perfect harmonies and sounded joyful, though many of the tracks sounded very similar in style but it might just be that I'm unfamiliar with their work. They were beautifully enjoyable, although it was Hush The Many who stunned the crowd.

Fields
Hush The Many
Red Campion

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THE MACCABEES / JACK PEÑATE
@ The Wedgewood Rooms, Southsea, 26th April 2007

It’s amazing the difference the lack of a support act can have on the crowd. Gigs generally have three bands, and whoever is first onstage usually has not much in the way of an audience as people take their time arriving.

Tonight however, it’s just The Maccabees and Jack Peñate, both well-known names and great fun. Everyone is here on time. The Wedgewood Rooms has sold out. Half an hour after doors opening and it’s already taking an age to get served at the bar. Anyway, back to the gig...

My gig buddy is looking nervous. The person I usually drag around is off ill so someone else has stepped in to relieve me of my spare ticket. The thing is, he’s never been to a gig before and I think my tales of sweaty crowdsurfers, stage invasions and bruises the size of planets might have tipped him into panic. He goes to drown his nerves in vodka (apparently it’s healthier than beer). Anyway, back to the gig...

Jack Peñate takes the stage in jeans and a lumberjack shirt. We’re stood behind some of his main fans who are bounding around each other in a rugby huddle, yelling the words and phoning their friends. In some places his music reminds me of The Jam or The Specials. It’s summery, indie ska in places, and is very enjoyable.

It only takes a few songs for the crowdsurfers to start queuing up to hurl themselves at the stage fruitlessly, each one landing safe in the arms of a burly bouncer.

My friend is smiling and nodding along to the music. He’s not scared any more. Thank goodness for that. Songs tonight include recent single ‘Spit At Stars’, and everyone yells along.

Jack Peñate himself is pummelling his guitar and occasionally launching himself towards the mic with the unhinged stare of a madman. He recommends the barber around the corner, and slates the Mexican restaurant for its crap service. His set is lively and great fun.

It doesn’t take too long for The Maccabees to walk out on stage – I thought with only two acts there would be enormous gaps between the sets, but it’s not that bad. Up go the crowdsurfers again and the rest of the audience moves closer for some bouncing. Orlando Weeks’ overly emotional voice yelps and wavers dramatically through their songs, while the guitars twist and jerk. The Maccabees have a wonderfully creative style and bite to them, but it's not so bizarre that people aren't sure how to react. Everyone is bouncing on the spot and waving their arms.

The set tonight includes ‘Latchmere’, ‘About Your Dress’, next single ‘Precious Time’, ‘All Your Rows’, ‘Tissue Shoulders’, and the beautifully named (and sounding) ‘Toothpaste Kisses’.

There’s a little happy hardcore of Maccabees fans stood at the front, hands aloft and waving exactly in time with the drumbeats, even performing little rolls and the like. Every so often the first few rows are illuminated with brilliant purple strobe lighting, making everything seem a little crazy.

The chant for the encore goes a little bit like ‘FIRSTLOVEFIRSTLOVEFIRSTLOVE’ but it’s a reasonably calm cheer. The crowd knows the band are coming back on, so everyone finishes their drinks and waits patiently. We’re then treated to ‘Sore Throat’ and a brilliant performance of ‘First Love’, a song which starts all gentleness and warmth before stirring into tense emotion and making everyone jump about.

It was a top night out and both bands are brilliantly lively. Southerners can take comfort in knowing both have now been confirmed for Brighton's Great Escape, so if you missed your chance to catch up on them tonight then wait a couple of weeks before heading over to the Sussex sands/stones.

‘Nothing's perfect / I'm hoping I'll do’. Thank you Maccabees, you certainly will.

The Maccabees
Jack Peñate

Single Reviews - Apr 07

This is the month that Ash's mighty single 'You Can't Have It All', came out; also the month that I was introduced to the mighty Battles (I now regularly drool over repeated listenings of 'Atlas').

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on Native.tv http://www.native.tv in April 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd


Ash - You Can't Have It All
Infectious Records, 16th April 2007

Oh my, this is a monster of a tune from Ash. After a brief hiatus of getting on for three years, they're back as a three-piece with 'You Can't Have It All'. And it's fantastic. Everything in it is classic Ash, from the soaring guitars and dirty dancing bassline to the furiously pounding drums and chorus which needs belting out at the top of your voice. It's a crowd rocker and we get the feeling the immense 'Oh's will get the hairs on your arms standing right up come summer festival time. Has anyone guessed what provisional album title 'TOTI' stands for yet?

Visit their website: Ash

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Battles - Atlas
Warp Records, 2nd April 2007

Now this is interesting from New Yorkers Battles. ‘Atlas’ has pounding drums and bass with slightly whining, twisted vocals which seem all set to cause anger. It’s strangely compelling and makes you want to slap on some war paint and dance topless while shouting down a megaphone. If you want to slap a genre on it, try ‘angry dance’. There are shades of Marilyn Manson ‘Beautiful People’ thumping away. We could see the vocals causing the occasional listener to pull a face along the lines of ‘The Scream’ but on the whole it’s compelling and fascinating stuff. And singer Tyondai has an amazing name, which we congratulate him for. Well done Tyondai.

Visit website: Battles

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Beverley Knight - No Man's Land
Parlophone, 30th April 2007

'No Man's Land' is the first single to be taken from Beverley Knight's fifth studio album, due out in May. She's got a spectacularly powerful voice. This song is smooth and classy, but at no time the tune overpowers Knight's singing. It contains traces of Southern American soul and blues styles, possibly picked up during her trip to record in Nashville, Tennessee.We don't think it's poppy enough to be a major Radio 1 hit, but it's bound to pick up plays on the broader-ranged Radio 2. Sounds like it coud be used on a love film soundtrack. "But I will rise to start again..."

To visit Beverley Knight's website click here

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Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Mercury Records, 9th April 2007

'Thnks Fr Th Mmrs'. Uh oh. I am a writer. Fall Out Boy has plunged me into some vowel-less nightmare, like I'm back in my shorthand classes wondering wht th fck I've written. Looks like that keyboard-thieving bastard has been up to his old tricks. Anyway, yes back to the song. It starts dramatically (as dramatic as a pop-punk band can be, that is). It's not bad, but to be honest it's much of a muchness with their other songs. Crunching guitars, poppy vocals harmonising over the top, some Latinesque sounds mid-song, a bit with drums and vocals only, then the guitar smashes back in for a noisy finish. That's all the Fall Out boxes ticked, like they've got some kind of songwriting checklist. Although I am tempted to assume the title is 'Thanks For The Mammaries' that would be unkind so I'll refrain. For now...

To visit Fall Out Boy's website click here

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Field Music - She Can Do What She Wants
Memphis Industries , 16th April 2007

Out of Sunderland come Field Music. 'She Can Do What She Wants' is on their album 'Tones Of Town'. It's mild and summery and quite nice. Bouncy keys and guitar at the start keep this indie pop piece sweet-sounding with plenty of charm. "Don't leave me... it's easy," say the band. And we don't want to hurt their feelings, so we stay until the end of the track. Can't think of any words other than 'nice' really. B-side 'Sit Tighter' is a bit of an electronic fuzzy change; still soft sounding at heart but with much more going on underneath the surface, making it a slightly weird, bumpy ride. But it's nothing too scary. Because they're nice.

Visit their website: Field Music

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Gareth Gates - Changes
19 Recordings / Universal, 9th April 2007

"I know some people might just hear my name and throw the CD out of the nearest window, but I hope they give it a chance and judge it on hearing it, not on pre-conceptions," says Gareth Gates in the press blurb. Having retrieved our copy after it somehow accidentally fell from the Native desk round a corner, through a skylight and into the car park, we gave 'Changes' said chance. It might be a grower on young pop fans.

Yes Gates has a lovely voice and is probably a nice boy, but that's not quite enough and we doubt this will set the world ablaze. Strangely enough, the keys have a bit of Radiohead 'No Surprises' about them. This is sweeping and builds to a warm climax whilst remaining nice, but it might be too slow to be a big enough hit. It's actually a slight relief from what we were expecting. And at least it's not a cover of the Osbourne clan's horrific song of the same name...

Gareth Gates

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The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Green Fields
Parlophone, 2nd April 2007

'Green Fields' is the latest release from the band's self-titled, critically-acclaimed album. “I wrote this song years ago…” begins The Good, The Bad & The Queen’s Damon Albarn in - quite frankly - an annoying whiney voice, but don't let that spoil your enjoyment. “We saw the green fields turning to stone…” I’m put slightly off this supergroup by the hype surrounding GBQ (yes they were in other bands. Well done), but this is a good song which is enjoyably in a thoughtful way. There are subtle changes throughout. It’s delicate and moving and grown up.

The Good, The Bad & The Queen

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Grammatics - The Shipping Forecast
Dance To The Radio

This is exciting. Grammatics lull you into a false sense of security, opening with soft tweets and an announcement that this is The Shipping Forecast, courtesy of the Met Office. It then strikes into something powerful, with soft poppy vocals, Jaws bass/cello and exciting, arty time changes to keep you on your toes. The twangy ‘der, der, da der. Da der da der’ (er, listen to the record to find out exactly how that goes. No we’re not singing it for you) sticks in your head. It’s the opening track for DTTR’s ‘Something I Learned Today’ compilation, which we’ll review for you when we get round to it, but if the rest’s to the same high standard we recommend you zip out and bloody well buy one.

Visit their website: Grammatics

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Lavender Diamond - Open Your Heart
Rough Trade Records, 23rd April 2007

There's something about the name Lavender Diamond which makes me think this is aimed at girly music listeners, short of including a box of chocolates with every CD purchase. Or maybe it's for gay men (there's a cover of ABBA's 'Chiquitita' on here too). 'Open Your Heart' is sweet, jangly piano folk-pop with Becky Stark's curious vocals sitting comfortably on top. It's quite cute in an epic, grown-up and beautiful way. Oh oh oh oh oh oh - open your heart. As for the delicately performed 'Chiquitita' cover, it's a exquisite guilty pleasure which glitters along and made me smile, although it had the unfortunate effect of knocking the actual a-side right out my head.

Lavender Diamond

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My Federation - Honey Bee
Eye Industries, 30th April 2007

The My Federation EP 'Honey Bee' is out now, and although we don't have that, we've been sent the Fed's album sampler featuring said song.

The title track is fast paced, with frenetic drums and fuzzy bass lines almost putting you on edge. It’s full of buzzing tension and surprisingly cute keyboards. Retro 80s keys which are slightly The Bravery ‘Honest Mistake’, then the drum/bass and pauses remind me of 80s Queen (in a way), followed by Beatles ‘Day In The Life’ ‘ahhhhs’. This rocks.

‘Don’t Wanna Die’ starts with the same farty bubbly synth before turning a little urban. Strong vocals, but this one’s a bit smoother, like butter. I’d say it’s good summer music. Is that a rocking flute they’ve pinched? Nice touch.

‘Open My Eyes’ thunders along pleasantly. The musicians sound like they’re having a ball, and that energy is passed onto the music. ‘Wow’ comes tootling along at breakneck pace – watch your step in case you trip. ‘He said WOW...'

'I just want to be you. A beautiful you I'd make. Can't you let me be you. Be you just for be you's sake.' Tripping over your tongue as well as your feet...? We get the feeling this band would be something special live.

My Federation

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Plastic Little - Crambodia
Make Mine , 16th April 2007

The cover to Plastic Little 'Crambodia' shows a man with Bart Simpson shaved into his head. Interesting... It almost starts like you’re eavesdropping on someone’s radio going off a few doors down, then they bring it closer and it’s a cheerful party rap vibe, fun and upbeat with some nice samples and banging beats. Guaranteed to get people smiling and dancing, possibly both at once. The girl vocals remind us of TLC (we obviously haven’t listened to any music beyond 1996… we know). Although as a committed indie kid I would generally be very unlikely to randomly go out and buy this kind of music, I would love to play it at a DJ set because it’s cool and fun.

Plastic Little

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The Shins - Australia
Sub-Pop Records , 9th April 2007

The Shins have produced another stunning, gloriously beautiful breath of pop. Australia is summery, sweeping sunshine and happiness over the listener. There are pleasant jangling guitars hidden underneath the sunny tune, and the lyrics are poetic and dark. “I felt like I could just fly – but nothing happened every time I tried.” This is a smiley delight and an ace of a pop song. If you haven’t heard The Shins before, you’ll wonder why the hell not. If you've heard 'Wincing The Night Away' you'll know this one already. It makes us strangely happy and slightly dribbly. (That's a good thing).

The Shins

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Siobhan Donaghy - Don't Give It Up
Parlophone, 16th April 2007

'Don't Give It Up' is the first solo release from Siobhan Donaghy, who may be vaguely recognisable to pop fans. She spent a couple of years as 'the ginger one' from the Sugababes before going solo, releasing a couple of albums and being dropped. Whoops. Now she's back, signed to major label Parlophone.

There’s an electronic squeal. Siobhan Donaghy has a good, crystal clear voice which reminds me of Matt Bellamy in his moments of fear. The music is slightly unsettling. What’s going through her mind? What traumas are in there? This is dark and classy. Tense, brooding and electronic, it’s pop which is out there. It's also more sophisticated than her earlier work with the 'Babes. Nice stuff.

Siobhan Donaghy

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Stateless - Exit
!K7 Records, 30th April 2007

It's a new single from Stateless, which opens with some gorgeous bleeping and soft electronic vocals. 'Exit' is pretty cool. The tune blossoms into something reflective and special in the light, but the dramatic strings hold it in check and keep the interest going. It's sophisticated and It sounds like it could be a stylish soundtrack. We think it’s even better than the ‘Bloodstream EP’. Their debut album should be along in June and they say it's 'for doomed romantics and passionate optimists alike'. Worth listening out for.

Stateless

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Travis - Closer
Independiente, 23rd April 2007

Soft, but not mournful. It’s sweet, warm and romantic, although if you’re not in the right mood it could be a tad dull. ‘I’ve had enough of this parade / I’m thinking of the words to say’. It’s nice and touching and like a cuddly hug in CD format. Perhaps some way off ‘Turn’ and ‘Why Does It Always Rain On Me?’ but this is suitable for Keane fans, those who like to look a bit misty-eyed while listening to music, and those who want something unchallenging and relaxing. Seen the video yet? – supermarket mascots, pissed-off checkout staff and Ben Stiller. Oh yes.

B-side ‘The Day Today’ is a nice, brassy, almost-Sterophonics style tune which also has a retro touch to it. ‘If you ever lose your way / your way / your way / your way’. Can we suggest they try and write longer sentences to fill a line / a line / a line / a line? It’s a foot tapper, and for some reason I could see it accompanying ‘Heartbeat’. Nice stuff.

Travis

Album Reviews - Apr 07

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on http://www.native.tv in 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd

Feist - The Reminder
Polydor, April 25th 2007

‘I’m Sorry’ says Leslie Feist sweetly at the start of 'The Reminder'. We only put the CD on seven seconds ago and she's already apologising for it. There's really no need.

Feist is a Canadian singer/songwriter who hs performed in Broken Social Scene. Her previous album 'Let It Die' came out in 2004 and is thought to be one of Canada's best pop albums of the year (don't say a word).

In some places, Feist sounds heartbroken and her voice full of longing. 'I'm Sorry' bobs along on top of waves of female ‘ooohs’. It's grown up pop. In some places she reminds me of a young Edie Brickell, or perhaps Beth Hirsch (who sings on Air ‘Moon Safari’).

‘I Feel It All’ is distinctly more jangly and bouncy, almost enough to make you dance barefoot on the lino. When she sings ‘Wild card inside’ you think she could be talking about herself. The pictures show a stunningly beautiful young woman, full of natural poise, but with a slight reckless air.

‘My Moon My Man’ starts with a deep pianoline that reminds me a lot of the opening to Roxy Music ‘Love Is The Drug’. This gives it a simple and bluesy pace while her notes skip sweetly across the top. A dark power which begins to crash along complexly in the middle before returning to simplicity again.

‘The Park’ is an acousticky, birdsong led summer piece for lazing and drinking lemonade to. Listen to the words though, and it’s the tale of a mistaken love, full of sadness and painful longing. ‘The Water’ is even slower and carries a gentle warning of danger.

The smooth reggae start to ‘Sealion’ is a mild, unexpected shock to the system. Then this one turns into a bluesy rocker, although someone is accidentally treading on a Fisher Price keyboard slightly out of reach. It’s an oddity, but we’re brought back to earth with the country twangs of ‘Past In Present’. ’The Limit To Your Love’ has shades of Velvet Underground in the drone start , but it turns out to be very grown up and pleasant.

‘1234’ has quite a quirky tone to it, with the lovely little line ‘’Sweetheart bitterheart now I can’t tell you apart’. ‘Intuition’ has a slow, fingerpicking style and Feist near howls in some places. Her voice has a wavering strength to it, at once vulnerable and powerful. ‘Honey Honey’ has a train noise of backing vocals, but it’s pleasantly catchy in a floaty way. ‘How My Heart Behaves’ benefits from some sweeling chords and Scandinavian-ish vocals.

The lyrics are frankly a bit chick-lit in places, but the music is sweet and heartfelt. ‘We’re slaves to our impulses / We’re afraid of our emotions / And no one knows where the shore is / We’re divided by the ocean.’ (‘So Sorry’) It's a beautiful album of sophisticated pop.

Visit her website: Feist

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Robyn - Robyn
Konichiwa Records , 2nd April 2007

As an excitable teen some years ago, I remember kneeling in front of the video recorder and getting ready to tape Air on The Ozone. Then a pretty blonde Scandinavian appeared and asked us to show her love, show her life, baby show her what it's all about. It was quite nice. Then Air came on and we forgot about her. But she's back. This is Robyn, originally a pop star and signed to a major record company at 13. She became disillusioned with the lack of control she had and bought herself off the label. Interesting...

Fast-forward a few blurry years and here's her album, also titled 'Robyn'.

Konichiwa! The mood is set nicely with a little amusing spoken word piece. Turn it the fuck up, like you're told. There are some hip hop beats whispering in the background - unexpected, but not unwelcome. And then signature tune 'Konichiwa Bitches' launches and we're thrown into a world of fizzing bleeps, electronic twinkles, sweet raps, segments of garage, humourous lyrics and pop fun.

It's entertaining. Robyn's got a cute voice but she's also streetwise with it. There are bass roars in 'Cobrastyle' which reminds me of Gwen Stefani's kid sister. Girly rapping over sexy street pop. 'Handle Me' sounds like a Pussycat Doll who is actually good at her job.

"You're always up to no good" begins 'Bum Like You', a song demonstrating she can sing as well as rap. "My favourite thing to do is wasting my time with a bum like you." Er, thanks for the compliment. 'With Every Heartbeat' is more of a slowy, with synthesised emotions and mournful violins with very 80s drums and shimmering sounds scything through the air. 'Who's That Girl' is an amazingly sexy modern track about the pressure of living up to image expectations.

'Crash And Burn Girl' has a real disco feel to it with thumping beats - this is one of the standout tracks. 'Eclipse' is another thoughtful ballad - "some words are left unspoken... and it all just falls apart" - while 'Should Have Known' and 'Anytime you Like' are soft wind-down tracks after the earlier electronic excesses. 'Robyn' has echoes of Sugababes, Girls Aloud, that kind of sparkling sunshiny pop with attitude. It's sweet, pure pop with joy and brains; like having a party on a cloud with laser lights flashing everywhere. Yaay.

Visit Robyn's website

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Reliant K - Five Score and Seven Years Ago
Parlophone, 2nd April 2007

Take a look at the cover for Relient K's 'Five Score And Seven Years Ago'. Looks like there was an offer on parkas at their local market. It's slightly disarming. Parkas are generally associated with indie or pub rock, where as this band playes the sort of music usually sung by nice boys in skinny jeans.

Relient K aren't a new band, far from it. 'Five Score...' is their fifth album in seven years (er, hence the title).

There's a nice soft opening for this with African style drumbeats and Beach Boys harmonies on 'Pleading The Fifth (A Cappella)', one of the shortest songs in the world. 'Come Right Out And Say It' has shades of Busted, with nice boy vocals over crunching American rock guitars. This album would be good for fans of Fall Out Boy, +44, Panic! At The Disco, that whole ilk of US pop punk acts, which to the untrained ear (ie mine) all sound the same. I'm sorry, but they honestly do.

'I Need You' is a needle-sharp rocker, followed by the dramatic piano and furious drums of 'The Best Thing.' "I always knew I'd find someone. I never dreamt it would be like this."

The album is full of slightly soppy, downbeat lyrics of love sought, love held onto, love lost. A little on the emotional side. 'Forgiven' is full of hypertension threading through the track, although the chorus gets a little soft and warm which was a bit of a disappointment.

'Must Have Done Something Right' opens with the line "We should get jerseys. Cause we make such a great team. But yours would look better than mine. Cause you're out of my league." Once I'd finished banging my head on the keyboard at the feeble absurdity of this, I enjoyed the tune and the curious chord changes, harmonies and summery feel. At least they have the decency to finish this with 'I know that it's so cliche'. Thank heavens for that. 'Give Until There's Nothing Left' has gorgeous, dreamy keyboards and is a stand-out ballad.

'Devastation And Reform' is, well, along the same lines as the other songs. Downbeat lyrics, and I'm afraid by this point I was wishing the album was done. But it's not a bad record. It's driving down the dusty highway, windows open, yelling along kinda music. But I live in the UK, where the only rainfall is smack-bang on the motorways and you can't drive above 20mph because there's a lorry on your bonnet and White Van Man is trying to accelerate up your arse. It doesn't feel right.

'Faking My Own Suicide' has a distinct country twang to it, a nice happy bounce to it. 'Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care' wins an award for the best titled song on the album, and in fact it takes longer to say than the song lasts. The song itself runs a little like this: "I just wasted ten seconds of your life." And that's it. If ever I had an urge to take a CD out and microwave it, it's now. 'Up And Up' thankfully has reasonably optimistic lyrics; it's the feel-good track where Thiessen realises he's lifted by love. "Contentment is all that it entails. To be content with where I am, and getting where I need to be."

Oh hell, the last track is 11 minutes long. It's called 'Deathbed', and not only is it of 'Ulysses'-length but it also manages to mention God, lung cancer, underage alcoholism, nicotine additiction, forced marriage, divorce and forgiveness, all wrapped up in a story of pure misery and morals from a dying person which made me wonder why anyone would listen to it for fun. I think it's trying to be their 'November Rain', but Axl has been replaced with some whining dullard (any change?) and Slash has forgotten his guitar solo. To be honest, I enjoyed the line "I bowled about 6 times a week," because either that's slang for getting completely mullered or his life was ruined by ten pins and those badly fitting shoes you get.

Any tension or sadness built up in the songs is dissipated by the bouncy music and the warmth of the guitar chords, and that's what makes it a bit samey. The permanent liveliness is a bit grinding for those who aren't fans of the genre.

It's solid, fun US punk pop, and if you're into that kind of non-threatening stuff you can't go wrong with 'Five Score And Seven Years'.

To visit Relient K's site click here

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Various Artists - A Tribute To Joni Mitchell
Nonesuch Records, 23rd April 2007
Features Sufjan Stevens, Bjork, Caetano Veloso, Brad Mehldau, Cassandra Wilson, Prince, Sarah McLachlan, Annie Lennox, Emmylou Harris, Elvis Costello, k.d. lang, James Taylor

Now I have to confess it’s not very often I pick up an album featuring songs by Annie Lennox and Bjork. There's nothing wrong with them, I just struggle to get into their music. Both artists, plus Prince, Sarah McLachlan and Emmylou Harris amongst others, have contributed tracks to 'A Tribute To Joni Mitchell'. But don't let that put you off.

Even with my apparently dubious taste in indie music, I know who Joni Mitchell is. Poetic and folky singer-songwriter, her best known song is probably 'Big Yellow Taxi' but there's also 'Both Sides Now' and 'Blue'. She's often considered one of the best of her generation. Mitchell no longer tours, but announced last autumn that she was recording new material, so I guess this is a reminder and an attempt to whet our appetites for her next songs.

‘Free Man In Paris’ is a jaunty yet thoughtful song by Sufjan Stevens, gently sweeping. It's an amazing start. Bjork performs ‘The Boho Dance’ - incidentally the title of her film 'Dancer In The Dark' is taken from the lyrics of 'Blue' - and sings it delicately with warmth yet curiosity. Caetano Veloso has interesting vocals, giving a 60s Latin beat to 'Dreamland' which we could imagine samba-ing to.

‘Don’t Interrupt The Sorrow’ (Brad Mehldau) is strong yet soft and is followed by ‘For The Roses’, an acoustic piece by a man who appears to be called Cassandra (Wilson). Prince’s ‘A Case Of You’ is a kind ballad, and Sarah McLachlan’s version of ‘Blue’ can only be described as stunningly beautiful.

Annie Lennox’s climactic ‘Ladies Of The Canyon’ is one of the album high points, along with Sufjan and Elvis Costello’s brooding ‘Edith and the Kingpin’. Emmylou Harris brings some downbeat country to 'The Magdalene Laundries'.

K.d. lang livens it up with some brisk beats and strong vocals over the soothing music. The Good King Wencelas-ness of end track ‘River’, here performed by James Taylor, doesn’t seem entirely seasonally-appropriate for a spring/summer release, but there you go.

The songs are winsome, plaintive, thoughtful, deep and poetic. There's a curious retro sound to many of them, that haunting quality which many 1960s/70s tracks display, and are written and performed with intelligence.

"I thought there should be a purpose to every track: each should be a reinvention or an homage, or be performed by an artist who was a part of Joni's life or whom I knew she admired, or whose life was changed by Joni," says producer Bob Hurwitz in the press blurb.

There are a range of top names on this album and Joni purists should not be ashamed of tracks being covered - it’s good piece of work from excellent musicians.

To visit the Joni Mitchell site click here

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Various Artists - Something I Learned Today
Dance To The Radio , 2nd April
Features Grammatics, I Was A Cub Scout, Read Yellow, Sky Larkin, Foreign Born, Voltage Union, Disco Drive, Laura Groves, : ( , Ghost Fleet, Sometree, AnteAter, Lions Of SWE, This Et Al, Black Wire

WELiKECOMPiLATiONS. Previous Dance To The Radio ones have been responsible for introducing us to ¡Forward, Russia!, the Pigeon Detectives, Shut Your Eyes And You'll Burst Into Flames, Yes Boss, iLiKETRAiNS and others guaranteed to make us dance (and other office colleagues to aim elastic bands in our direction). If you're unfamiliar with the bands, it's always an exciting surprise finding out what you're getting. So here's Something I Learned Today, the first of two DTTR compilations scheduled for the first part of this year.

"And now the Shipping Forecast, issued by the Met Office." We reviewed this Grammatics song when it appeared on our desk the other week. Guitars being struck like matches, soft cello, Jaws bass and quirky time changes make this one hell of an opener. I Was A Cub Scout is up next - fast and soft (how we like it...) with electronic pulses giving an eerie tone and dancing cymbals. Read Yellow are from the States, a fair way from DTTR's home of Leeds, but their piece of indie rock jostles its way in and fits well. It's called 'Pia Zadora'. We thought he was a footballer. She's a famous actress. Oh the shame.

Next come one of our recent faves, the charming Sky Larkin. This is a nice indie rocker, which bounds along happily and has earned them comparisons to the Long Blondes before (in that they have a female vocalist, presumably). Foreign Born are an attractive clash of guitars and percussion which meet in a heap before regrouping for another attack. Voltage Union sound mildly like Razorlight at the start, turn into Bromheads Jacket stamping on a vintage keyboard, and finish as their own sweaty selves.

If you don't like complicated, different, tangled indie music with lashings of electronica and fast guitars, then why are you even reading this far? The other acts include Disco Drive with their Sunshine Undergroundy indie-dance tracks, the sweet tones of teenager Laura Groves who - according to the blurb - "writes songs for various instruments, some of which she can play and some of which she can't (but tries to anyway)," : ( or 'colon open bracket' and their pop punk, electronic noise mash, and the Ghost Fleet girls are "dreaming of a break up" through the dense fog of 'Shattered'.

Berliners (not as in the JFK sense) Sometree gently pad through 'One Man Shelter' before turning it into a dark thrilling mystery witha large presence. ¡Forward, Russia!'s Tom sneaks in as AnteAter to bring us some electronic pie before jumping up and down sparking dangerously. Lions Of SWE come charging through with their noisy Swedish ways making one hell of a racket, though that's no bad thing.

This Et Al play a roaring melodramatic race against the clock and we suggest you look out for them in the future. 'Something I Learned Today' closes with Black Wire 'See The Blood', a dark and brooding piece of indie rock where you feel all but obliged to stand up and clap along.

We think this album is fucking ace, if you can please excuse our use of the word 'ace'. Way better than 'Now - Whatever Number' and a great indicator of what musical times are fast approaching on the distant horizon...

To visit the Dance To The Radio site click here
Something I Learned Today MySpace

Eurovision 2007

My predictions for this couldn't really have been much more wrong. Don't let me pick racehorses when the Grand National comes around. However I still maintain Israel would have won if it hadn't been for the stupid vote-some-countries-into-the-final round. And I still listen to the French entry now.

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on http://www.native.tv in 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd

EUROVISION 2007

We listen to the CD, so you don’t have to.

Every year at Eurovision time, many usually sane people suddenly start betting on countries they’ve never heard of, or at least can’t point to on a map.

Has anyone seen that episode of Father Ted where they deliberately choose the worst act to prevent Ireland paying out to stage another contest? It’s like that with the UK as well. Possibly. Well, at least adopt a different country for the day and make a few pounds by betting on some other mug.

We’ve been sent the Eurovision album, so here is our guide of what to expect and our top tips for bets. Of course, not all these may make it through the semis on Thursday 10th May. Plus we can’t see if any of the acts will gain bonus points for dressing like numpties on stage or dancing insanely. We hope our guide will warn you what to expect...

ANDORRA - Anonymous ‘Salvern El Món / Let’s Save The World’
Trying to sound like Busted/Wheatus. It’s all right, but far too normal sounding and inoffensive to win anything.
6 pts

ALBANIA - Frederik Ndoci ‘Hear My Plea’
Sounds like it could be dance, then turns a bit folky and traditional. Takes itself a bit too seriously. It’s a game, boys and girls!
5 pts

ARMENIA - Hayko ‘Anytime You Need’
Possibly a lot of fist-clenching and lighter-swaying-in-the-air.
4 pts

AUSTRIA - Eric Papilaya ‘Get A Life – Get Alive’
Bit dull. We’ve forgotten what it sounds like to be honest. The picture makes him look like a game show host though.
3 pts

BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA - Maria ‘Rijeka Bez Imena’
We actually forgot this one was on until her voice became a slight yell halfway through.
4 pts

BULGARIA - Elitsa Todorova and Stoyan Yankoulov ‘Water’
Stoyan’s luxurious mullet will confirm everything you’ve ever suspected/stereotyped about certain European nations. As for the song, it's sort of techno folk. Absolutely awful.
2 pts

BELARUS - Koldun ‘Work Your Magic’
Thinks he’s James Bond and Westlife all at once. Strangely compelling.
8 pts

SWITZERLAND - DJ Bobo ‘Vampires Are Alive’
Someone trying to go down the goth-lyrics-but-clubbing-beat route. It’s not a well-travelled path, and there's a good reason why. Disco vampires are not common. Not great.
3 pts

CYPRUS - Evridiki ‘Comme Çi Comme Ça’
Appears to be in French, that native tongue of Cypriots. (Ahem). Not bad, but not special. Your parents would call it that thump thump thump clubbing music…
5 pts

CZECH REPUBLIC - Kabát ‘Malá Dáma’
It’s all right until they start singing. Someone offer them a pack of throat sweets because that noise cannot be good for you. Oh dear.
3 pts

GERMANY - Roger Cicero ‘Frauen Regier’n Die Welt’
This is pure vintage swing. Thinks he’s in the Rat Pack. Probably won’t win on account of being German. Surprisingly entertaining showtune though.
10 pts

DENMARK - DQ ‘Drama Queen’
Yes, it’s a man dressed as a - rather pink – woman. One of the better camp disco ones. Key change, high notes, it’s got it all.
8 pts

ESTONIA - Gerli Padar ‘Partners In Crime’
Sounds a bit dark and dramatic. Not a bad effort, but too much of a muchness to win anything.
6 pts

SPAIN - D’Nash ‘I Love You Mi Vida’
Another suffering from the ‘I must sing half my words in English!’ affliction. Typical hot and bouncy song sung with gusto. Do some stampy dancing to it.
7 pts

FINLAND - Hanna ‘Leave Me Alone’
Trying to win again by putting forth their version of Evanescence. Thing is, it’s been done before. And it’s not as fun as last year, in fact it’s mildly depressing.
6 pts

FRANCE- Les Fatals Picards ‘L’Amour à La Française’
Actually, we shyly admit to really liking this one. It’s a stirring little indie-ish acoustic foot-tapper. Although we don’t know if it will gain points, it’s sweet, pleasant and slightly innocent.
9 pts

GEORGIA - Sopho ‘Visionary Dream’
Just mind-numbingly dull. We’re sorry. She has a nice voice but the song is just a bass-pumping, echoing blur.
3 pts

UK - Scooch ‘Flying The Flag (For You)’
I’m firmly convinced the UK has the best music scene in the world, but on hearing this I’m tempted to become Bulgarian. Imagine the Vengaboys have come back and are trying to kiss-ass Steps. We recommend taking on another nationality for the duration of this contest. Even worse than Daz Sampson, and he was shit. We’re not going to win. End of.
3 pts

GREECE - Sarbel ‘Yassou Maria’
An odd mix of traditional Greek instruments and bleeping things. Average effort.
4 pts

CROATIA - Dragonfly feat. Dado Topić
Someone here appears to be named after a chocolate bar. This might have been a hit in, say, 1994. From the picture, they're mostly made up of the Rolling Stones dads. It’s plodding soft rock and even a smooth, Santana-esque bit of guitar can’t win us round.
5 pts

HUNGARY - Magdi Rúzsa ‘Unsubstantial Blue’
Shouty woman! It’s an all right song – you can’t go wrong with a simple bit of blues - but it’s not really the sort of catchy thing the contest looks for.
6 pts

IRELAND - Dervish ‘They Can’t Stop The Spring’
Hear those flutey notes. It’s the gentle Irish entry. It’s nice, it’s Irish, there aren’t really any other words to describe it.
5 pts

ISRAEL - Teapacks ‘Push The Button’
It’s about nuclear war, and it’s amazing. It’s got odd vocals, cheeky Gogol Bordello-style tunes, rock guitar, and a crazy rap. It’s truly an aural experience. We’d back them to win because it’s a mix of absolutely everything in one package and we haven’t heard anything like this before.
11 pts

ICELAND - Eirikur Hauksson ‘Valentine Lost’
A sort of heavy rock, Icelandic ballad. Not quite up to the standards of the Sagas, but a decent and overblown effort nevertheless.
4 pts

LITHUANIA - 4Fun ‘Love Or Leave’
A folk ballad, which confused us because from the name we were expecting a lot of camp pop and dance routines. Not particularly exciting.
4 pts

LATVIA - Bonaparti.lv ‘Questa Notte’
Oh my God, it’s like G4. A complete change from the norm, very operatic. and they’re all in tuxes. Might pick up points for being completely unexpected.
8 pts

MOLDOVA - Natalia Barbu ‘Fight’
She looks a bit dramatic. Sounds like Avril Lavigne with PMT. Unlikely to win though. Goes a little too high pitched for us.
5 pts

MONTENEGRO - Stevan Faddy ‘Ajde Kroči’
Soft rock. Distinctly plain and the guitar sounds slightly old fashioned. Dramatic drums though, but drums alone a Eurovision winner doth not make.
5 pts

FYR MACEDONIA - Karolina Gocheva ‘Mojot Svet’
Sounds brooding and contains elements of folk, but again it’s not special. It’s all right. Better than, let’s say, the UK entry. Almost gets exciting partway through.
5 pts

MALTA - Olivia Lewis ‘Vertigo’
Violins and all sorts of traditional instruments sweep through this. ‘Kissing you gives me vertigo’? Find someone who you don’t have to stand on a chair to get off with then, love.
6 pts

THE NETHERLANDS - Edsilia Rombley ‘On Top Of The World’
It’s average, and we can’t think of much to say about it. Sort of strummy guitar and an uplifting chorus. It’s just… average and forgettable. Sorry.5 pts
NORWAY - Guri Schanke ‘Ven A Bailar Conmigo’
Sounds a little like Norwegian salsa, which we can’t quite comprehend. We're tempted to drop it into our Latin dance classes though. Typical fun Eurovision.
8 pts

POLAND - The Jet Set ‘Time To Party’
Well it’s not proper urban rap, it’s Eurovision rap, which is slightly more watered down. Then it turns all dancy and unusual.
6 pts

PORTUGAL - Sabrina ‘Dança Comigo'
Another Latin-esque one. Not quite as fun as the Norwegian one, possibly because that’s less expected, but certainly good entertainment.
7 pts

ROMANIA - Todomondo ‘Liubi, Liubi, I Love You’
A charming acoustic number. It’s not bad. Halfway through, it switches to some sort of cheeky beat so you can dance to it. Check out all the European references – they want everyone to love them.
7 pts

SERBIA - Marija Serifović ‘Molitva’
Starts so quietly we almost didn’t notice. Soft with plaintive folkish tones.
6 pts

RUSSIA - Serebro ‘Song # 1’
Here goes – ‘Oh, don't call me funny bunny / I'll blow your money, money / I'll get you to my bad ass spinning for you… Put your cherry on my cake / And taste my cherry pie’. Blimey…
7 pts

SWEDEN - The Ark ‘The Worrying Kind’
Sweden is living in 1973. This is Slade, Abba, The Sweet and T-Rex all in one. But retro is currently in, so who knows how many votes they could pick up… Put on your glittery top hat and platforms to dance to this.
9 pts

SLOVENIA - Alenka Gotar ‘Cvet Z Juga’
An operatic dance howler. Very hard to sing along with, we presume. It’s an odd mix of styles. Key change!
6 pts

TURKEY - Kenan Doğulu ‘Shake It Up Shekerim’
Remember the Outhere Brothers? So does Kenan, and he’s given them a Turkish touch. He needn’t have bothered.
5 pts

UKRAINE - Verka Serduchka ‘Dancing Lasha Tumbai’
Er, the singer appears to be wearing a giant star on their head. Camp folk, which is something we don’t hear too much. Please, don’t let this one win. It’s like a rubbish children’s song. ‘Eins, zwei, drei!’
6 pts

Our tip to win is the mighty mighty Israel with their bizarre song 'Push The Button'... it's crazy, but it might just work.

Our tips for outsiders or ones which should pick up votes are France, Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Spain, Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Belarus and Latvia. They're either very good, or different to the norm.

Do not, under any circumstances, go for Bulgaria or the Czech Republic. Unless they have spectacular stage shows, they ain't gonna come away with anything apart from disappointment and a possible hangover.

Official Eurovision
Eurovision 2007 on the BBC

Wednesday 23 January 2008

Brussels and Antwerp - Travel Feature

We weren't in Belgium for long, but we tried to make the most of our stay...

Words - Suzy Sims
Previously published on Native.tv http://www.native.tv in 2007
(c) Niche News & Publishing Ltd



BRUSSELS AND ANTWERP in three parts

1. BRUSSELS

I’m in Belgium. To be more specific, I’ve got a window seat upstairs at Chez Leon in the famous restaurant stretch down the Rue des Bouchers in Brussels. It was recommended by our hostel receptionist as having a good reputation while not being a total tourist trap. To be even more specific, I was about to eat a garden pest (or a pet, depending on your age).

The menu was a good mix of local and nearby Continental cuisine, and I went for the Burgundy-style snails. Not exactly Belgian, but I was curious. I was looking forward to my snails until the waiter kindly presented me with some kind of metallic implements of torture. I’m sure he was sniggering. After a few minutes of examining I realised that the tongs let you grasp the shell and the pokey thing is used to pull the slimy bit out, or to assault the waiter with if it turns out to be completely disgusting.

I glanced again at the menu to see a dessert covered in Crème Anglaise, which sounded quite sophisticated until I realised they meant ‘custard.’ Soon my plate arrived. Twelve prettily coloured shells were swimming in a green garlic and herb sauce. I did a bit of operating with the scary metal poking stick and put a snail in my mouth. Quite nice actually. A bit chewy, like squid. After a few snails I realised that they each had a tiny unpleasant gritty part, and I really didn’t want to think about what it could be.

Unfortunately I accidentally thought about it and started turning a similar colour to the sauce.

Luckily, my friend Veronika and I had agreed to go halves on our meals so she finished the snails while I moved onto mussels and chips, washed down with raspberry beer. Delicious. The beer was in a glass labelled ‘Mort Subite’, and even my poor French skills could translate the first word as ‘Death’ which was a bit off-putting.

I was very embarrassed at not being able to speak French. I can speak the odd grammatically incorrect bit of Russian and random phrases of Norwegian, Dutch and German. I learnt French for three years at school but gave it up before GCSE level. Veronika is Hungarian and she also speaks fluent Russian as well as English – but no French. I decided to give the language a go when buying burgers from Quick. I wanted the set 3 Euro meal and tried pronouncing it in my head but could only imagine a throaty ‘Twa Ehhhrro’ that could only ever be understood by the cast of 'Allo Allo', so I gave up on that one.

“Bonjour. Je voudrais deux hamburger, et… errr… the cheeseburger thing… there.”

I was then spoken at in lots of French, so I conceded defeat and switched back to Anglaise. On the plus side, my ‘Merci’ is now excellent and I did even try an ‘Excuse-moi’ on the Metro.

Of course food is a recurring theme throughout Belgium and particularly Brussels. The waffles are almost as famous as the chocolates and the mussels/chips. After a few hours of walking around the city and passing through the Grand Place, we stopped at a vender near the Manneken Pis and ordered one chocolate and one honey Liege waffle.

“A honey for the honey,” said the grinning vendor. “You are a pretty lady. You are English? I like Chelsea! What’s your name? Do you have a boyfriend?”

Veronika nudged me and grinned. We managed to escape before I was proposed to, although with waffles like that I would have happily accepted.

I was in Belgium to see a gig the next day in Antwerp, so until then our time would be taken up with sightseeing in the capital with the aid of a tourist map and a route kindly drawn out by the hostel receptionist. The Manneken Pis is absolutely tiny. I’d imagined a large fountain in the middle of a square, but instead the ‘little fellow’ was stuck on the corner of a road having a tinkle and being admired by a party of German tourists.

If we’d arrived a few weeks later, the statue would have been dressed up in some amusing costume. We took a couple of pictures after wiping our waffle-greased hands on our jeans, then it was off again for another walk. If we’d been aware of the Jeanneke Pis (like the above statue, but a squatting girl) we’d have gone looking just to find out exactly how tasteless it is.

Despite its size – although as everyone knows, size isn’t everything – the Manneken Pis is one of the most popular icons of the city. There’s also a fairly awful range of related merchandise from plasticky fridge magnets to long, whirly corkscrews protruding from between his chubby fingers. A hike up a hill and round a bend, dodging trams and cars brought us to St Michael and Gudula Cathedral, where my legs ached and I made us sit down for a bit. There was a lone girl on the next bench sketching the building, and we watched for a bit as the worst parker in the world reversed up the kerb several times, each time stopping to slowly lean out the window and see how badly they’d missed their space. (Oooh, by a lot).

Another few hills and corners and we found the Royal Palace illuminated in the dark with a Belgian flag flying atop and the king inside eating his tea and toast, as I’m sure royals do. The front garden with its sculpted hedges looked perfect to wander in, perhaps with a glass of bubbly in hand, but I wasn’t brave enough to see how far we’d get over the wall before being shot or chased by a pack of Dobermans. There were no obvious security guards and few people walking the streets. The cars made a tremendous noise as they accelerated across the cobbles.

The next morning we dragged ourselves out of our beds. The 2Go4 Hostel was good quality, with automatic lights in our bathroom, free hot drinks in the morning (if the vending machine works), key cards to open the doors (if they work) and a free internet connection (which kept dropping). Seriously though, I have no qualms in recommending it. It’s smartly decorated, in a good location and has very clean and comfortable rooms.

We had decided to visit the Atomium in Heysel. It was originally built for the Brussels World Fair and was set to be demolished six months later. That was in 1958; almost fifty years later and its still going strong. It looks rather like something Tom Cruise was fleeing in ‘War of the Worlds’, with fascinating and slightly ominous spheres rising above the trees. Veronika shook her head and complained that as far as atoms go, it didn’t appear to have the right structure. I felt a bit nervous standing underneath as it gave the impression the balls were about to drop (as it were). After a walk around the structure, interrupted by a giant party of Japanese tourists appearing in camera shot, we went to catch the tram back to the hostel.

Brussels Tourist Board
Grand PlaceManneken Pis
Royal Palace
2Go4 Hostel
Atomium


2. ANTWERP

And we made it back to the hostel with three minutes to spare. Any later and our luggage would have been locked away for the day, which would have buggered up our travel plans slightly. We got our things, left and caught the train to Antwerp, which I then flooded with cola when I accidentally split a plastic cup. We were frantically wiping up the mess with a tissue when I saw an unsmiling guard hanging over waiting to check the tickets of these British vandals. He handed mine back with an ‘Alstublieft.’ We were moving away from the French area more into the Dutch-speaking parts.

Antwerp is famous for the gem industry, with some 70% of the world’s diamonds being traded there. Now some enterprising spirits have tried to condense the city’s selling points in one – resulting in diamond-shaped chocolates. Hurray!

There wasn’t much time to see Antwerp so we decided to leave our sightseeing until the weekend and perhaps try and find our hostel instead. It took a bit of detecting as there was no sign and the front door was just a huge black monstrosity with the hostel name in faded marker on the intercom. Inside was a large echoing hall leading to a room with cosy, mismatched sofas covered in throws. There was a friendly and pleasant man who told us about the local area and said he’d help us find our way to the venue.

Our room was three floors up and there didn’t appear to be any heating. There were also a few random beds in the middle of the room – which had 12 beds between three of us – so I helped shove them to one side. On the plus side, the bathroom was done out in a nice octopus-style pattern, and the room was big enough that we wouldn’t be in each other’s faces.

We went back downstairs to ask the man how to find our way to the Hof Ter Lo, which according to our map was out in the middle of nowhere, miles from any sort of public transport. Unfortunately he’d disappeared so a smiling lady tried to show us where to go, although she didn’t seem to have any particular knowledge of the area so perhaps tourism wasn’t her best career choice. In fact, in the end the best she could suggest was a taxi number. We waited a minute as she smiled at us, then suggested she be kind enough to ring for one. The taxi itself was half an hour in coming, had to park practically on the tramlines (aaaargh) and then had to take us via Bruges or something as there were roadworks all along the direct route.

At the gig in Antwerp, having also met up with a Dutch chum, I was talking to some new-found Belgian friends who asked what I thought of the country. I said that I’d only really seen Brussels, but thought it was beautiful.

“What? No it’s not. It’s really ugly,” insisted the man. “Well if you like Brussels, I’m sure you’ll like the rest of the country.” They then went off into a slight rant against the Dutch.

“Ah, the Dutch. We hate the Dutch. Apart from your friend over there, she’s nice. It’s like a local rivalry. Like you have with the Irish.”

“And Scottish, and Welsh, and French,” I said.

“Ha ha, the French. And the Germans, and Americans. Yes, the Scottish,” they continued, smiling. I suddenly realised I’d been talking to them for an hour and didn’t know what their names were.

“I’m William Wallace,” deadpanned the man.

The next day, I was woken early by one of our friends creeping out to get an early train. The room was freezing cold and I didn’t want to get up. The cathedral bells were pealing in the distance. When we eventually made it up we walked along the tramlines to the nearest stop to find there were 14 minutes to wait in the rain. We decided it would be quicker to walk into the centre.

Antwerp is considerably quieter than Brussels. At half ten in the morning, pretty much everywhere seemed to be shut, possibly because of the Jewish Sabbath. The streets were typically cobbled and on every corner stood a chocolate shop with the shutters down. Our bags were heavy and rattling on the floor so we stopped for sweet refreshment at a little café called Chaplin’s, where we ordered hot chocolate and chocolate pastries.

When it came to pay, I was slightly confused about what to say as I had assumed Antwerp was more Dutch than French; however the person at the till was chatting happily away en francais with the man behind me. In the end, I just managed a ‘Merci’ and shyly carried the tray to a red plastic table.I sat there daydreaming for a bit. There were posters on the wall reading ‘Soup Is Hot’ which I liked. I idly stared out of the window at passers-by, until one man caught me looking and flashed me a grin and a thumbs up. I blushed and tried to hide behind my plastic cup, with little success.

We strolled across the Groenplatz towards the grand Onze Lieve Vrouwekathedraal (Cathedral of Our Lady), staring fixedly at our map to find the best way to go. Walking through a small passageway we found ourselves in the Grote Markt. There were a few people walking around the outside with cameras, while a man and boy on their bikes paused to look at the buildings. The cafes were open and doing a busy trade. European squares are always so attractive and Antwerp is no exception, with pretty mismatched houses from the 16th Century standing proudly by the decorated Town Hall. The Hall was built during the city’s rich boom in the mid-1500s to replace a smaller and less impressive one and was completed in 1576. Sadly it was burned to a crisp when the Spanish soldiers came to town and near destroyed the place in an angry rebellion against their lack of pay and violent opponents. The hall was renovated a couple of years later, but much of the current structure is 19th Century.

Walking round a corner, we found ourselves heading for the river. When in the centre of town it’s easy to forget that Antwerp’s wealth had for centuries been coming in from the port on the river Scheldt, with the region coming to a near economic standstill when the waterway was closed to trade. The Allies and the German troops battled for control of the area during the Second World War as Antwerp was perfectly situated to deliver supplies to troops.

Further along the river there was a statue which checked us in our tracks. It appeared to be of a giant man in posing pants thrusting his crotch forward. A bit of research tells me it’s called Lange Wapper (snigger) and was a mythical figure used to frighten children (no kidding). Even better, Lange Wapper did indeed used to have an appendage which matched his name, but it was lopped off by conservative powers. As the Manneken Pis would say again, size isn’t everything, but it must still be embarrassing for the poor man.

Mr Wapper stands outside Het Steen, the small castle which used to guard the city and which was used as a prison in the past. ‘Steen’ means ‘stone’ which is indeed what it’s made from; it got the name because at the time of construction (around the 13th Century) most buildings were made from wood.

Then it was back to the train station to return to Brussels. Antwerp has quite possibly the poshest looking train station (from certain angles). When you arrive, you look up at a giant guilded sign, all swirls and gold lettering and marble acting as a fanfare for your arrival. Look behind you though, and you’ll see some grey steps, a couple of vending machines and a bored backpacker picking their nose or something.

Antwerp
Hof Ter Lo
Onze Lieve Vrouwekathedraal


3. BRUSSELS (AGAIN)

Veronika and I got off the train at Brussels Central, ran across the road and began the business of trying to souvenir shop while carrying coats and large bags. We’re on the lookout for a particular chocolate shop (it’s called Devina. A bit like that presenter off the telly) because I have a discount voucher. Not only that, we don’t have much time before we’re back on the Eurostar. We’re distracted by a small market selling black statues of cats and small china houses, while the smell of incense sweetly wafts between the stalls. Veronika bought a pair of gloves while I listened idly to the French chatter around us.

The streets are getting narrower and there are more tourists with luggage and cameras in our way (I say in our way, but we’re doing exactly the same thing). We find our chocolate shop and step inside. It’s an even room temperature and there are neatly wrapped boxes on the shelves around the sides. Four girls are smiling behind the counter and calling on customers to try a chocolate for free. I choose a white chocolate fruity crème, which is soft and not cloyingly sweet. In front of me is the glass with hundreds of neatly laid out chocolates. Some are in coloured foil wrappers; there are milk ones with green pistachio shavings on the top, marzipan fruits, small logs, round ones… I pick up a few small mystery boxes as Christmas gifts (hassle-free, but let’s hope no-one has nut allergies as I’ve no idea what’s in these potential Boxes of Death) while Veronika umms and ahhs over a selection for her family.

The girls behind the counter are very friendly and careful in their handling of the chocolate. There are some we have to be very careful of, a few kirsch ones for Veronika’s mother which are delicately laid on the top layer.

“Don’t shake the box,” warns the assistant. “This chocolate has liquor contained in a sugar cube. If it is shaken, the alcohol will come out and spoil the chocolate. It will be ruined.”

We look at it seriously, like it’s a newborn child. I pick up the carrier bag with some trepidation. If anyone’s going to fall face-down and get confectionary squished up their nostrils, drop it in front of a car or accidentally leave it on a platform to get blown up by the army, it’s me.

We rush along the road to the station, with me holding the bag at arm’s length to stop myself kicking the boxes. We stand in the doorway of the train with plenty of room, leap off and rush to the check-in desk. The chocolates have to go in a box through the x-ray machine, so we carefully place them in and run to the other side. We grab them before a suitcase slams into the back. After finding our seats on the train, we place the boxes on the floor between our feet. They stay there the whole journey without me accidentally wedging my trainers into the top. The Eurostar is shaking a little, but we can’t do a lot about that. The bag of delicious chocs is then carried lovingly around Ashford International until it’s time to get the next connection.

We jump on the train happily – then the automatic doors randomly close on me and another girl, slamming hard into our arms. Aaargh, the chocolates!

Devina
Eurostar
Belgium Tourist Board